garden

Fairy Baby.....The Gift of Love

James Matthew Barrie (Peter, in Peter Pan, act 1)--"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl."

James Matthew Barrie (Peter, in Peter Pan, act 1)--"Every time a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies,' there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead."

Fairies! I love them. I had never seen one before, but I believed in them nonetheless, and I have felt them close by. So I made a secret, special garden in a private place outside my bedroom window. A quiet little place in the city that is unencumbered by daily stresses and unfounded beliefs and unfulfilled desires It is a place so special that being in it surrounds one with a peace seldom found in today's hustle and bustle world, a small retreat so filled with love that is all encompassing, filled with such a sense of well-being and contentment and joy that it is impossible to fathom what is going on in the world outside it's perimeter, so lovely that it can almost brings tears to one's eyes just walking into it.

Because of it's serenity, I thought it would be a wondrous place to attract the fairies that my young granddaughter, Juliana, loves so much. I hung tiny wind chimes (the kind that barely make a noise, just a small tinkling). There is a pink gazing ball close to the ground and a small statue of the Infant St. Francis that is on the little piece of sacred ground, in my mind, that is the final resting place of my three little doggies that were so dear to me. Hanging in the flowering lilac bushes are crystals of varying colors. In one corner of the garden there is a replica of a weeping angel surrounded by lilies with the sweetest scent imaginable. A wrought iron bench for sitting quietly is placed at the end of a path of stepping stones. The garden's entirety is surrounded by shade trees but nestled inside of their protected privacy is a place so warm and loving that it is bliss to just enter it. Violets cover the ground in the shade and very few sunbeams filter through the trees but it is a bright cheerful place with the sweet scents of flowers and blooming bushes. It is a sad place though in the winter when the wind chimes and crystals come indoors and the ground is covered with snow and the sky is bleak with the coldness that can chill our hearts and tear away our dreams.

There are birds of all kinds that visit and squirrels and other small animals that I am sure can survive in the city. I put out stale bread for the squirrels and bird food and anything else appropriate for them when I have it and I watch this thru my bedroom window every day as I sit here with my laptop.

Juliana brought a book to my house once on how to attract fairies and I attempted to make some fairy cupcakes (which to my dismay and lack of culinary skills) were pretty much a dismal failure (although she and her Papa assured me were delicious). But I got most of my ideas for this special calm retreat from her little book.

So when this secret place was ready and blooming I introduced little Juliana to it. She was delighted and we spent many hours sitting there, talking about the things that were important to her and to me, about her lazy summer days and action filled days as well, about her softball games and about her dogs, Rico and Bandit, and taking them to the park, about her wanting to be a veterinarian when she grows up, about her 'walking around money' that Papa always made sure she had for her little emergencies or just for spending it on a little something that she wanted. We shared many times and a lot of love together in our special place. We talked of hoping that the fairies liked it and that maybe they visited although we knew we would never see them, but we felt that it was touched by their presence although maybe this was only in our wildest imagination.....and if the garden was touched by their presence, then our souls were as well. We talked about what they must look like and which plants were their favorites and which wind chimes they like to hear and what colors of crystal attracted them the most.

One day in mid summer as I was putting bird seed and bread crumbs out for the little furry and feathered visitors that gather during the day, I noticed some tiny mushrooms coming up, and as I prodded gently amidst the violets I noticed they were in a pattern. A FAIRY RING! A special ring where the fairies dance. We had flower fairies! The full moon would be in less than two weeks and they would be back. How excited Juliana would be. We had to make plans.

Juliana was to come over the next day so instead of calling her I waited for her arrival and showed her the special surprise. She giggled and jumped up and down, clapping her small hands together. And although she knows one should not blatantly watch the fairies, she would be spending the night with me inside my bedroom on that special night in the near future and we could listen for them through the bedroom window and play some gentle music for them to dance along with. We were not certain if you can really hear them and we made a pact that we would not peek out the window and scare them no matter what! just knowing about the Fairy Ring was enough to fill our hearts and encourage her young fantasies and my old ones. To be able to share this with her became a wonderful dream to me and for the next two weeks we shared our secret and kept it from everyone.

It was an important fact that we knew that you cannot put both feet inside a Fairy Ring or they will take you away and make you a fairy also, so we were careful to stay outside the small ring that was about 2 feet in diameter (And if you by some chance walk into a Fairy Ring unaware, you must NEVER eat the cake they offer you.) And it is also rather daring to even put one foot inside of it to check what would happen!   Midsummer's Eve (June 24) is said to be when fairies are at their liveliest and I believed that must have been the night they danced and brought the Fairy Ring to my garden.

We did not tell anyone about this because we were not sure if anyone else would understand our fascination. After all, some people do not believe in fairies and what they represent to us: a freedom, a wisdom, a flight of fancy, celebration of life, a serene existence, so many things. We had some very major planning to do. We felt we must put out a bird bath for them. Do they even drink water? And what else do they need? Fairy cupcakes? So many things we did not know, but we were willing to try anything and everything to attract them back to their Fairy Ring.....

My plans became quite involved. First I needed to make sure that Juliana could come over for two nights in a row so she would be here for the full moon and also for the new moon as both are important. Secondly, I had to make a grocery list to get the ingredients for the fairy cupcakes and I wanted to make something using saffron as that is one of their favorites. Thirdly, I needed to get a bird bath so we could have fresh water and maybe run a low sprinkler in a corner of the garden. Also I needed to rearrange my bedroom so that the bed was by the window and the curtains were not so sheer as to be able to see the fairies. I needed to find a cd of some sort of light, soft, magical music to play very, very quietly in the garden and i needed to find some of my delicate crystal bowls to put the cupcakes in and the extra sultanas. I had read that fairies like mallow foods and the mallow plant I don't believe is a local plant (so do I get marshmallows to put out also?). The list kept getting longer and longer of things to do. Excitement was building. Juliana and I whispered quietly most of the time now and curiosity was aroused in her parents and her Papa, but our lips were sealed tightly for fear that speaking of this aloud would ruin the anticipation and perhaps elicit unwanted laughter behind our backs. But the plans had been set in motion and Juliana could spend the time with us.

And now the real adventure begins. It is the afternoon before the night of the full moon and we have made the cupcakes. Our preparations are all in place and Juliana and I have no appetite for dinner. We are waiting for dusk when the fairies will arrive. We turn on the music for the garden and retreat early to the bedroom and lay quietly, listening for any sounds of the fairies. NOW WE HEAR THEM! They are singing and must be dancing and having a grand time. We listened in awe. We were so tempted to look but did not. We were almost in a trance with our excitement when WAIT! There is a commotion.   We hear wings beating furiously and suddenly it is quiet. What has happened? It is too dark to go out by now so we would investigate in the morning. We fell asleep happy that they did come to dance around the ring.

Very early in the morning we went to the garden, having wakened at the crack of dawn. What we found left us speechless. There were remnants of fairy clothing, small pieces of the fabric woven from spider webs, shimmering and shining and damp with dew. What would cause this to happen? We investigated more thoroughly and to our horror found a few drops of blood on one of the stepping stones. Do fairies bleed? What hurt them? Did a visiting neighborhood cat do them harm? We were getting quite upset at this point and nearby in some flowers we found the dead body of a bat! Our fairies had been attacked. Upon this discovery we started crying. Did the fairies suffer and get hurt?

We sat quietly, alone in our grief in that what was going to be such a wondrous adventure had turned to tragedy. Surely the fairies would no longer like our garden. We sat there for the longest time and Juliana said finally 'Nana, what is that?' and pointed to the hands of the Infant St. Francis statue where I normally put some bird food. We went over to investigate and there was a very tiny baby fairy! She was laying in the hands of the statue among some of the remnants of the tattered cloth that she must have gathered. She had been abandoned.

What do we do now? How do we take care of her? Will the fairies be back soon to get her? Is she frightened? With so many questions in our minds, we just sat there, speechless. We tried not to look at her as she appeared very frightened and lonely. Juliana and I whispered to one another very quietly and we decided to go inside to talk about this. We opened the bedroom curtains now so we could keep an eye on her.   We saw her stand up and try to fly but despite her gallant efforts she could not. She was too young. We could tell now that she was scared but what could we do to comfort her? Then she lay down and rolled over and curled up and we could see her tiny shoulders quake as she sobbed. And we cried with her.

We watched her awhile from the bedroom and talked in whispers. About mid-morning she got up and played (that's right...played) in the food. She tasted it all and settled on the sultanas and a mini-marshmallow for a nice little lunch. She did not appear very upset anymore and explored everything. Juliana and I decided to give her a name.....Gwaelin. Our baby Gwaelin. We loved her already and would do anything we could to make her life here comfortable until she left. We felt so bad for her.

Later we went to the garden and sat and read, watching her out of the corners of our eyes. She played with flower buds and in the violets and even in the sprinkler we had running. She appeared to chuckle every now and then which was a great sign that maybe the trauma was over. I took out a silk scarf and draped it over the Infant that she had made her bed on.   She slowly approached the scarf and tore it into long strips and crammed them into the hands of the Infant for her bed. It was very cute how she was making the best of things. She also tried flying again to no avail but she did seem not overly concerned about it.

As evening approached, Juliana and I went inside, satisfied that we had done our best and that the fairies would be back to get her.
We waited and waited and.....nothing!   Would Gwaelin be safe in the garden alone? What about the bats? I decided to take the screen off of the bedroom window so we could get a better view in the twilight and as it got darker and darker, I grabbed a blanket and pillow and went outside to sleep. It was not the ideal situation but Juliana and I could come up with no other solution.

It must have been more traumatic for us than for little Gwaelin because in the morning we discovered she had learned to fly. She was in bed with Juliana! She had brought in the strips of the scarf and was in a nest she had made in Juliana's long hair. It was one of the cutest things I had ever seen and a total surprise to us both. She was sleeping soundly and had a small smile on her face, so the trauma was over. When she woke up there was fairy dust in her little bed and Juliana's hair was so full of sparkles!

We decided it was time to tell Papa. He did not believe us and thought Juliana and I had fabricated a pretend game. Juliana took his hand and brought him to the bedroom door. We had not asked him if he believed in fairies and he thought it was make believe. Then he saw.......and was amazed.

Papa even got involved in caring for little Gwaelin. He wanted to build her a little house, so we all conferred and came up with an elaborate design fit for our fairy girl. It would be right out of a fantasy. We did not even care if she used it or not, but she might like it. It would be on a pole outside in the garden, a quiet retreat for her so that if the bats came back she would have some protection.

Gwaelin spent her time outdoors during the day playing in the dewdrops on the flower petals and rolling in the pollen in the bigger blossoms. She loved playing in the sprinkler too, getting wet and making the cutest little joyful noises, flitting all around in her boundless energy. She was adding such a wonderful quality to our lives.

Juliana would be spending the night again and we did not know what to expect now that she was flying. Perhaps her fairy family would come for her that night. They did not, but she did not seem upset.

Summer progressed with lightening speed with Juliana spending as much time here as possible. When Juliana wasn't here Gwaelin made her bed on the pillow next to me. She spent time in the garden during the daytime playing and napping in the little house Papa made for her. The little fairy house looked like it came out of a dream. We saw her on occasion go into the Fairy Ring but it didn't take her anywhere nor did it make the other fairies come back for her. It was such a delight having her around.

Fall was approaching and one day we discovered Gwaelin had left. We looked all over the bedroom in the morning and could not find her. Upon going into the garden, we discovered she had taken the strips of the silky scarf that she used for a bed and had carefully tied the delicate ends together and laid them out. They formed the words 'I Love You' in the Fairy Circle. We were crying then for our loss.

So she had gone home. We were happy for her but sad also. We knew we would never have another magical summer like the three of us shared that year.

But in the following years when I visited Juliana's house, if I looked closely at her garden, I saw Gwaelin in the flowers there. She was happy and had brought her friends with her. She would wink at us and toss her glittery fairy dust among the flowers. Juliana still has her little friend and always will. But we miss you, little fairy girl! And will love you and remember you always. Thank you for the magical, mystical summer.